Africa

So I'm in Africa. And it's a little bit overwhelming. I'm not sure how to describe it. On one hand it’s really wonderful and beautiful and hot and all that, but there are so many disturbing factors too. The poverty is just a little bit too much to understand. I find myself wanting to close my eyes and pretend it's not there. And when we ride the car through the landscapes, I am struck by the beauty of it, but also get a cramp in my tummy when I see the way people actually live.


The other day while we were waiting at an intersection a few girls, maybe age 5 – 10, came up to the car wanting money for food. And shortly after a girl of about 14 years of age with a baby wrapped around her hip came up to the car. I found myself wanting to give her all my money.. I sat there in our embassy car, with my pretty clean clothes and sunglasses and my newly bought cute handbag and a bag of candy worth more money than a normal family make in a week here, and I felt sick, Then I came home and I forgot about it and started eating like the pig I am.

It's so hard to take everything to heart. It's hard to understand it all. And it's hard to know that I have actually complain on my crappy situation in Sweden, as if it was ever even coming close to this. I feel ashamed and I hope I take this with me for the rest of mylife. I understand that I can't start giving everything I have away, I understand that I can't move into a tent in the park to feel better about myself, but I hope that I will remember this and grow from it and become a better person than I was before. And I really think I will.

Aside from the horror that is the living situations here for a big part of the locals, kara and dre live in a really nice stone house in a very safe compound. Which is nice since Africa can be a dangerous place when you are white and “rich”. (read: can get by on their income)
When I'm here I feel like I'm on a luxurious vacation in paradise. Same when I'm at the beach. And even though the poverty is to be clearly seen everywhere when I get outside the compound, I can also see that people aren't miserable, And I really think that it's is all very photogenic, so I can't really go around being sad all the time about something that is the everyday life for these people.

Anyways, most of my trip is still fun and exciting and when I make Kara laugh till she pee a little and start crying, I am a good friend and make her feel better again.
Like this:



I miss johan. Soooooo much. But it's nice with my winter vacation. Don't think I could go through 1 whole winter in sweden...